{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-30","title":"Silent But Deadly No-Witnesses Cotton Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe reaper has arrived, the room has questions, and you’re minding your own business like a professional. A cotton tee for dark-humor fans with impeccable timing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe reaper is waiting, and your talent for looking innocent has finally found appropriate merchandise. Dark humor works best when you let the graphic speak and keep an absolutely straight face.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it for errands, coffee, or movie night with the people who already know your sense of humor has terrible timing. Your silence is not an admission. The shirt is simply deeply fucking unhelpful evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fit: Loose\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Season: Spring \/ Summer \/ Autumn\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Preppy \/ Sporty\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Material: 100% cotton\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fabric Weight: 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Thickness: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e67.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e69.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e74.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e76.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e55.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e52.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"White Gray \/ S","offer_id":67605178843450,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#001","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ M","offer_id":67605178876218,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#002","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ L","offer_id":67605178908986,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#003","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67605178941754,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605178974522,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605179007290,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#006","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67605179040058,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#007","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67605179072826,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#008","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67605179105594,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#009","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67605179138362,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#010","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605179171130,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#011","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605179203898,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#012","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":67605179236666,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#019","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":67605179269434,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#020","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":67605179302202,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#021","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67605179334970,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#022","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605179367738,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#023","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605179400506,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#024","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ S","offer_id":67605179433274,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#013","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ M","offer_id":67605179466042,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#014","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ L","offer_id":67605179498810,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#015","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67605179531578,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#016","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605179564346,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#017","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605179597114,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#018","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/15403666800954-back1-individual.png?v=1791125009","url":"https:\/\/therealshitco.com\/products\/essential-cotton-t-shirt-30","provider":"The Real Shit Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}