{"title":"Women's Shit","description":"\u003cp\u003eWomen’s clothing with a mouth on it. Funny, filthy, loud, cute when it wants to be, and never generic. Real-life shirts and whatever other shit we decide women deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"the-claires-hit","title":"The Claire’s Hit","description":"\u003ch1\u003eThe Claire’s Hit\u003c\/h1\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eClaire’s does ears. Apparently we had other plans.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeet \u003cstrong\u003eThe Claire’s Hit\u003c\/strong\u003e — the black long-sleeve for women who grew up, got questionable ideas, and somehow became even less appropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe front keeps its shit together with a small, feminine \u003cstrong\u003eTHE REAL SHIT CO.\u003c\/strong\u003e mark in clean white.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThen you turn around.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI GOT MY\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCLIT PIERCED\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAT CLAIRES\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTeal. Hot pink. Zero fucking explanation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt’s printed on washed \u003cstrong\u003e230 GSM 100% cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e with a loose, boxy fit and dropped shoulders. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTranslation: it already has that lived-in, \u003cem\u003eI’ve owned this forever and probably have stories you shouldn't ask about\u003c\/em\u003e feel.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCute from the front.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCompletely fucking uncalled for from the back.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eExactly as intended.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe Shirt Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Loose, boxy \u0026amp; intentionally oversized\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e Small white feminine TRSC mark\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-size teal + hot-pink statement graphic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNeck:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ribbed crew\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Long with dropped shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFinish:\u003c\/strong\u003e Vintage washed \/ lived-in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 230 GSM \/ 6.8 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEnergy:\u003c\/strong\u003e Looks innocent until you turn around\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake Care of Your Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eCold wash, gentle cycle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eNo bleach — don't fuck up the pink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDon't iron directly over the print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDon't dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDon't suddenly start making responsible decisions now\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear it to brunch. \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear it to the bar. \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear it somewhere Claire’s has specifically asked you not to return to.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements in inches and centimeters.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ein\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth 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shirt.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eToothy Boars and Rank Whores\u003c\/strong\u003e tee brings big-tusk energy on a heavyweight oversized tee built for comfort without looking basic as hell.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade from \u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton at a solid 260 GSM\u003c\/strong\u003e, it has that substantial, premium feel while still being comfortable enough to wear all damn day.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLoose, easy, and unapologetic, like your whores.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThrow it on with jeans, shorts, work pants, or whatever the hell is clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe Shirt Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Loose \/ Oversized\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNeckline:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic Round Neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Regular Short Sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 260 GSM \/ 7.7 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBreathability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Spring, Summer \u0026amp; Fall\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVibe:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rugged, casual, and definitely not fucking subtle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake Care of Your Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" 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blue-collar men probably fucking should.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eAlanis \u0026amp; Blue Collar Men Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e is for women with a weakness for questionable choices, dirty boots, calloused hands, and men who say \u003cem\u003e“I can fix it”\u003c\/em\u003e before making the problem significantly worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe front keeps things cute with our larger, centered, feminine white \u003cstrong\u003eThe Real Shit Co.\u003c\/strong\u003e logo.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThen you turn around and tell everybody exactly what kind of decisions we're working with:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlanis may be bad for you\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ebut so are\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBlue Collar Men\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eand they both\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003etaste good.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTiffany blue and hot pink. Big, bright, inappropriate, and absolutely impossible to miss.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe shirt itself is \u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton at 200 GSM\u003c\/strong\u003e with an intentionally oversized fit, dropped shoulders, classic crewneck, and relaxed short sleeves. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eComfortable enough for an all-day situation and cute enough for whatever questionable shit happens afterward.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it with cutoffs. Wear it with leggings. Wear it with boots. Wear it while ignoring every red flag you've ever been warned about.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe don't judge.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe Shirt Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Oversized \/ relaxed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e Large centered white feminine The Real Shit Co. logo\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-size Tiffany blue + hot pink statement graphic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNeckline:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic ribbed crewneck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShoulders:\u003c\/strong\u003e Relaxed drop shoulder\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Short sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 200 GSM \/ 5.9 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Lightweight, soft \u0026amp; breathable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Spring, summer, fall, dive bars, truck meets, bonfires \u0026amp; ignoring perfectly good advice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake Care of Your Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eMachine wash at \u003cstrong\u003e30°C \/ gentle cycle\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eIron on low if needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDon't iron directly over the print\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eYour shirt can be washed. \u003cstrong\u003eYour taste in men is your own fucking problem.\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBad for you? Maybe.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWorth it? That's between you, Alanis, and the guy with the toolbox.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements in inches and centimeters.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ein\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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2XL","offer_id":67584326795578,"sku":"260927PODPQ4701#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67584326828346,"sku":"260927PODPQ4701#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/mr_bigg-back-lifestyle_9c6b48cd-87f4-40b6-ab5c-af7eab105386.png?v=1790478426"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt","title":"The Sweetheart Shirt","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Sweetheart Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome days you’re a fucking sweetheart.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOther days, somebody’s testing how committed you are to staying out of jail.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Sweetheart Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e is for both.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eClean enough from the front with \u003cstrong\u003eTHE REAL SHIT\u003c\/strong\u003e across the chest. A purple-and-white middle finger on the left sleeve gives everybody a little preview of what they’re dealing with. Then turn around and let the back finish the conversation:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Some days I’m a sweetheart. Other days I’ll punch you in the throat. Both are real.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade from heavyweight 100% cotton with a loose, oversized fit, it’s soft enough for all-day wear and substantial enough to not feel like some cheap-ass throwaway tee.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the bar. Wear it to brunch. Wear it to the game. Wear it while being an absolute fucking delight.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTHE SHIT YOU ACTUALLY NEED TO KNOW\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Loose \/ Oversized\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 260 GSM \/ 7.7 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNeckline:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic Round Neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Short Sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBreathability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Spring, Summer \u0026amp; Fall\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePersonality:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sweetheart with conditions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eDON'T FUCK IT UP\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at \u003cstrong\u003e30°C \/ 86°F on a gentle cycle\u003c\/strong\u003e. Tumble dry low. Iron on low if necessary, but \u003cstrong\u003edon't iron directly over the graphics\u003c\/strong\u003e. No bleach. No dry cleaning.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Real Shit Co.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eReal Life. Real Words. 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2XL","offer_id":67584328204602,"sku":"260927PODPQ4495#005","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67584328237370,"sku":"260927PODPQ4495#006","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/sweetheart-back-lifestyle_ed6ba86e-04b8-481d-8e65-e3c7e9a78a27.png?v=1790478426"},{"product_id":"the-grindin-on-me-tee","title":"The Grindin’ On Me Tee","description":"\u003ch1\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Grindin’ On Me Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome shirts are subtle.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis ain’t one of those fucking shirts.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eGrindin’ On Me Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e keeps it clean up front with a small \u003cstrong\u003eThe Real Shit Co.\u003c\/strong\u003e chest logo—then you turn around and all hell breaks loose.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“ALL THESE HOES KEEP GRINDIN’ ON ME.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBig, loud, and impossible to miss in hot pink, turquoise, black, and white. Exactly how it should be.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade from heavyweight \u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e with a loose, oversized fit, this tee was built for nights out, concerts, dive bars, questionable decisions, and hanging with the kind of friends who already know there’s probably a story behind the shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eComfortable enough to wear all damn day.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLoud enough to start conversations all damn night.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTHE SHIT YOU NEED TO KNOW\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Loose \/ Oversized\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 260 GSM \/ 7.7 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNeckline:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic Round Neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Short Sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBreathability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeason:\u003c\/strong\u003e Spring, Summer \u0026amp; Fall\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e Small The Real Shit Co. chest logo\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-size “All These Hoes Keep Grindin’ On Me” graphic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVibe:\u003c\/strong\u003e Zero fucking explanation required\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eDON'T FUCK IT UP\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at \u003cstrong\u003e30°C \/ 86°F on a gentle cycle\u003c\/strong\u003e. Tumble dry low. Iron on low if you absolutely have to—but \u003cstrong\u003edon't iron directly over the graphics\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo bleach. No dry cleaning. Don't do weird shit to it and it'll be fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Real Shit Co.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eReal Life. Real Words. 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2XL","offer_id":67584342524218,"sku":"260927PODPQ4961#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67584342556986,"sku":"260927PODPQ4961#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/f6b2482ccbc94f05a15e5c7694eeb2a5.png?v=1790474689"},{"product_id":"yeehaw-memaw","title":"Yeehaw Memaw Still-Raising-Hell Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYeehaw Memaw Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis ain’t Meemaw’s first fucking rodeo.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eYeehaw, Meemaw Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the women who might have grandkids, reading glasses, and a favorite casserole dish—but still have enough hell left in them to make everybody nervous.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe front keeps its shit together. The back? \u003cstrong\u003eYEEHAW, MEEMAW.\u003c\/strong\u003e Because getting older doesn’t mean getting boring, and nobody said you had to start acting your age.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade from heavyweight \u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e with a loose, oversized fit, this black tee is comfortable enough for everyday wear and substantial enough to survive whatever bullshit Meemaw gets into next.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the bar. Wear it to the cookout. Wear it to Walmart. Wear it to Sunday dinner and give the family something new to talk about.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAge is just a number. Yeehaw is a fucking lifestyle.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTHE SHIT YOU NEED TO KNOW\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Loose \/ Oversized\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 260 GSM \/ 7.7 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNeckline:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic Round Neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Short Sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBreathability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeason:\u003c\/strong\u003e Spring, Summer \u0026amp; Fall\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-size Yeehaw, Meemaw graphic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVibe:\u003c\/strong\u003e Somebody come get your grandma.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eDON'T FUCK IT UP\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at \u003cstrong\u003e30°C \/ 86°F on a gentle cycle\u003c\/strong\u003e. Tumble dry low. Iron on low if necessary, but \u003cstrong\u003edon't iron directly over the graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo bleach. No dry cleaning. Take care of your shit and it'll take care of you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Real Shit Co.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eReal Life. Real Words. 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2XL","offer_id":67584376635706,"sku":"260927PODPQ5237#005","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67584376668474,"sku":"260927PODPQ5237#006","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/yeehaw-back-lifestyle_029a99ca-6364-41a1-ac26-48a283b3fef6.png?v=1790478427"},{"product_id":"tricks-in-her-treat-hoodie","title":"Tricks In Her Treat After-Dark Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe temperature dropped. Your standards remained impressively questionable. This roomy fleece hoodie carries The Real Shit Co. up front and the tricks-in-her-treat pumpkin graphic across the back. Wear it to the bonfire or the bar and let the shirt explain why nobody trusted you with a wholesome Halloween.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe bonfire is lit, the candy is gone, and your friend has already texted a plan that begins with ‘hear me out.’ That is usually how a normal evening turns into a story nobody is allowed to tell at Thanksgiving.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLayer it over your tee for pumpkin patches, late-night snacks, and the walk home after a truly questionable Halloween party. Warm clothes. Bad intentions. Excellent commitment to the bit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fit: Oversized\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Neckline: Hooded\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Length: Long Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Season: Winter\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Sporty\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Material: 53% polyester, 42% cotton, 5% other fibers\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fabric Weight: 345 gsm (10.2 oz)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Thickness: Thick\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken flat. 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2XL","offer_id":67584380764474,"sku":"260927PODRB5315#005","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/tricks_hoodie-back-lifestyle_74637e2e-cd81-43a6-a759-e95fbf3d8c10.png?v=1790478430"},{"product_id":"tricks-in-her-treat-tee","title":"Tricks In Her Treat Questionable-Agenda Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou came for the candy. Sure you fucking did. The company chest mark keeps the introduction short, while the tricks-in-her-treat pumpkin graphic makes your Halloween agenda everybody’s business. Relaxed cotton, loud back print, and enough bad intentions to ruin a perfectly respectable pumpkin patch outing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the party where somebody spent three hours becoming a sexy household appliance and you showed up dressed as your own worst impulse. Honestly, yours took less effort and explains more.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePair it with jeans and let the back handle introductions. If anybody asks whether the message is inappropriate, congratulations: they can read, and you can go back to finding the snacks.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fit: Loose\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Season: Spring \/ Summer \/ Autumn\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Preppy \/ Sporty\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Material: 100% cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fabric Weight: 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Thickness: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken flat. 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3XL","offer_id":67584384172346,"sku":"260927PODPQ5338#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/tricks_tee-back-lifestyle_d4be01fa-d625-4631-aab7-04c350f1c61b.png?v=1790478429"},{"product_id":"tricks-on-his-treat","title":"Tricks On His Treat Bad-Intentions Slim-Fit Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe costume says innocent. The shirt says quit fucking lying. This slim-fit tee keeps The Real Shit Co. up front and puts the tricks-on-his-treat pumpkin graphic across the back. Made for Halloween parties, late-night plans, and pretending your intentions were ever wholesome.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe slim-fit shape makes getting dressed easy. Your ability to turn one innocent pumpkin joke into a twenty-minute group-chat incident remains entirely your own achievement.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the costume party, the bar, or the haunted house where the scariest thing is still your friend texting ‘we should go out after this.’ Bring a jacket and leave the innocent act at home.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fit: Slim-fit\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Season: Summer\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Sporty\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Material: 92% cotton, 8% spandex\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fabric Weight: 230 gsm (6.8 oz)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Thickness: Thin\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken flat. Compare them with a garment you own.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ein\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.05\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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3XL","offer_id":67584434667834,"sku":"260927PODAA5454#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/tricks_his-back-lifestyle_f37ac16d-4dd7-4377-b518-1f44a34de40b.png?v=1790478429"},{"product_id":"tricks-on-his-treat-hoodie","title":"Tricks On His Treat Bad-Intentions Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003ePumpkin spice? Cute. You showed up with a completely different fucking agenda. The Real Shit Co. goes up front; the pumpkin punchline about tricks on his treat goes across the back. Throw on this roomy fleece hoodie for the bonfire, the bar, or a Halloween night that will absolutely not make it into the family newsletter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the layer for the woman who packed a spare phone charger, remembered the drinks, and still somehow gets blamed for the evening’s terrible ideas. Being organized does not make you the fucking chaperone.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it through chilly pumpkin runs and questionable after-party plans. The front keeps the greeting brief. The back makes sure nobody accidentally files you under wholesome holiday traditions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fit: Oversized\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Neckline: Hooded\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Length: Long Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Season: Winter\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Sporty\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Material: 53% polyester, 42% cotton, 5% other fibers\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fabric Weight: 345 gsm (10.2 oz)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Thickness: Thick\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken flat. 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Baseball Hat\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor bad hair days, errand days, don’t-talk-to-me days, and the days you still somehow look put together by accident.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis camo stretch-fit baseball hat keeps The Real Shit Co. front and center without trying too hard. 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Bring the tee, pass the gravy, and mind your own damn business.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe family arrived with casseroles, opinions, and a stunning inability to mind their own fucking business. You arrived with a shirt that puts the problem in writing before anyone asks what you’re doing with your life.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear the slim-fit tee to Thanksgiving dinner, the grocery run for forgotten butter, or the recovery coffee afterward. You can love your relatives and still need three business days to recover from talking to them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e92% cotton, 8% spandex — soft cotton with a little stretch.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e230 gsm (6.8 oz) fabric.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSlim fit with regular shoulders, set-in short sleeves, a ribbed crewneck, and a straight hem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e6.89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e17.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e15.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e7.28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67587839525178,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#001","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67587839557946,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#002","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67587839590714,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#003","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67587839623482,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#004","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67587839656250,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#005","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67587839689018,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#006","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-15398072385850-black-back-lifestyle.png?v=1790558843"},{"product_id":"women-s-slim-fit-crewneck-t-shirt-1","title":"Pass The Gravy Slim-Fit Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe gravy is ready; your patience is not. This slim-fit tee brings Thanksgiving truth to the table and gives relatives a fair warning before dessert.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere is gravy on the table and unsolicited advice coming from both directions. One deserves your immediate attention. The other can wait until somebody volunteers to pay your bills.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear this slim-fit tee to the family dinner where every simple question has a follow-up and nobody accepts ‘because I fucking want to’ as a complete answer. Eat your food. Protect your peace. Ask for seconds.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e92% cotton, 8% spandex — soft cotton with a little stretch.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e230 gsm (6.8 oz) fabric.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSlim fit with regular shoulders, set-in short sleeves, a ribbed crewneck, and a straight hem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. Chest is the garment's flat width, not body circumference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eInches\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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This tee brings pumpkin-season attitude loud enough to scare off another boring conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou can enjoy autumn without turning into a decorative pillow that says grateful. This pumpkin-season tee brings the version of festive that comes with better jokes and considerably fewer manners.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the pumpkin patch, the party, or the coffee shop charging extra for a beverage that tastes like a candle. Halloween spirit, questionable judgment, and no fucking interest in behaving for the photo.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e92% cotton, 8% spandex — soft cotton with a little stretch.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e230 gsm (6.8 oz) fabric.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSlim fit with regular shoulders, set-in short sleeves, a ribbed crewneck, and a straight hem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. 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M","offer_id":67587999203642,"sku":"260928PODAA4732#002","price":24.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67587999236410,"sku":"260928PODAA4732#003","price":24.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67587999269178,"sku":"260928PODAA4732#004","price":24.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67587999301946,"sku":"260928PODAA4732#005","price":24.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67587999334714,"sku":"260928PODAA4732#006","price":26.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-15398095585594-black-back-lifestyle.png?v=1790558634"},{"product_id":"women-s-slim-fit-crewneck-t-shirt-3","title":"Come Carve Me Pumpkin Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe pumpkin’s ready, the knife is sharp, and the invitation is wildly inappropriate. Bring this tee to Halloween and let the carved grin handle the small talk.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is how you make a pumpkin patch awkward without touching a single pumpkin. The front does the flirting; the back makes sure the people following you know exactly which company encouraged it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to Halloween drinks, carving night, or wherever your friends are pretending they invited you for your restraint. They knew the risk. You simply honored the commitment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e92% cotton, 8% spandex — soft cotton with a little stretch.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e230 gsm (6.8 oz) fabric.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSlim fit with regular shoulders, set-in short sleeves, a ribbed crewneck, and a straight hem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. Chest is the garment's flat width, not body circumference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eInches\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e5.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e6.89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e17.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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#ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e7.28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67588016079162,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#001","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67588016111930,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#002","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67588016144698,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#003","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67588016177466,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#004","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67588016210234,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#005","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67588016243002,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#006","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-15398097092922-black-front-lifestyle.png?v=1790558608"},{"product_id":"women-s-slim-fit-crewneck-t-shirt-4","title":"Bone Me Bow Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eA bow, a skeleton, and the sort of Halloween greeting that gets repeated by the one friend who has no filter. This tee is built for a loud night and worse jokes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe skeleton brought a bow and a pickup line with the subtlety of a dropped casserole. If your friends wanted innocent Halloween humor, they should have invited somebody with better fucking judgment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the party, the snack run, or the movie night where the commentary becomes more disturbing than the film. The graphic is dressed for the season. Your manners can take the night off.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e92% cotton, 8% spandex — soft cotton with a little stretch.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e230 gsm (6.8 oz) fabric.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSlim fit with regular shoulders, set-in short sleeves, a ribbed crewneck, and a straight hem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. Chest is the garment's flat width, not body circumference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eInches\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e5.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e6.89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e17.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e15.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e7.28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67588024533306,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#001","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67588024566074,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#002","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67588024598842,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#003","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67588024631610,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#004","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67588024664378,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#005","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67588024697146,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#006","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-15398097584442-black-front-lifestyle.png?v=1790558589"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-13","title":"Deep Sea Degenerate Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome folks fish from shore. You take the boat way out, burn a pile of fuel, and call the invoice character-building. This one’s for the offshore degenerates.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe alarm went off before sunrise, the cooler is full, and the fuel receipt has entered the range where you should probably stop describing this as a cheap hobby. You are calling it therapy anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the marina, the boat-day breakfast, or the dinner where somebody asks how much that fish cost. The answer is a complicated fucking accounting issue, and the fish is not accepting questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe details\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed, loose-fit crewneck tee.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, 260 gsm (7.7 oz); substantial feel with a soft, breathable finish.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSmall branded front print and full-size graphic on the back.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in Pink, White, White Gray, Black, Navy Blue and Dark Gray.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold or at 30°C on gentle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low, avoiding the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are of the garment laid flat, in inches. Chest is measured across the front. Compare with a tee you already own for the best fit. Measurements may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasurement (inches)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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Absolutely no interest in letting the grocery aisle win this argument.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe details\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed, loose-fit crewneck tee.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, 260 gsm (7.7 oz); substantial feel with a soft, breathable finish.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSmall branded front print and full-size graphic on the back.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in Pink, White, Blue, White Gray, Black, Navy Blue and Dark Gray.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold or at 30°C on gentle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low, avoiding the print. 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Wear this to the blind while the plastic ducks do their job better than your last relationship did.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe plastic ducks have shown up, stayed where you put them, and contributed to dinner. That is a frankly outstanding relationship history compared with several real adults you could name.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it for pre-dawn coffee, the trip to the blind, or telling the same duck story until somebody begs for mercy. The decoys can keep lying. At least their bullshit has a useful fucking purpose.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe details\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed, loose-fit crewneck tee.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, 260 gsm (7.7 oz); substantial feel with a soft, breathable finish.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSmall branded front print and full-size graphic on the back.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in Wine Red, White, White Gray, Black, Navy Blue and Dark Gray.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold or at 30°C on gentle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low, avoiding the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are of the garment laid flat, in inches. Chest is measured across the front. Compare with a tee you already own for the best fit. Measurements may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasurement (inches)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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2XL","offer_id":67589799444794,"sku":"260928PODPQ7451#023","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67589799477562,"sku":"260928PODPQ7451#024","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-decoys-back-lifestyle_6d12407b-7161-45d5-9c27-41424935e188.png?v=1790575541"},{"product_id":"unisex-vintage-wash-barrel-leg-fleece-sweatpants","title":"Clocked Out, Still Judging You Sweatpants","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe shift is over, the judgment is not. These fleece sweats are for errands, couch duty, and watching people make the exact mistakes you predicted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed barrel-leg silhouette with straight hem\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eElastic drawstring waist, slash pockets, front pleats\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e53% polyester, 42% cotton, 5% other fiber; heavyweight 390 gsm fleece\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash gentle at 30°C; do not bleach; tumble dry low; keep the iron off the print; do not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdetails\u003e\u003csummary\u003eExpandable size guide — garment measurements in inches\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat. 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Wear it to the diner, the bar, or wherever people still read shirts.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed oversized fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash gently at 30°C; do not bleach; tumble dry low; keep the iron off the print; do not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cdetails\u003e\u003csummary\u003eSize guide — garment measurements\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat. Compare with a tee you already like. Table fits on mobile; scroll if needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57 \/ 67.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90 \/ 48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69 \/ 50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46 \/ 21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36 \/ 69.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88 \/ 50.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67 \/ 52.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66 \/ 22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35 \/ 72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87 \/ 53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65 \/ 55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86 \/ 22.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33 \/ 74.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85 \/ 55.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64 \/ 57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06 \/ 23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12 \/ 76.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83 \/ 58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62 \/ 60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25 \/ 23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71 \/ 78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82 \/ 60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61 \/ 62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45 \/ 24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome legacies belong in museums. Yours may be more of a private conversation that your friends refuse to let die. The front and back prints make sure the joke survives every time you turn around.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the bar, the cookout, or the coffee run where somebody is bound to read it out loud. You do not need a statue. Apparently you need friends with worse fucking memories.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"White Gray \/ S","offer_id":67604625490234,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#007","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ M","offer_id":67604625523002,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#008","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ L","offer_id":67604625555770,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#009","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67604625588538,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#010","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604625621306,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#011","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604625654074,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#012","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67604625686842,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#001","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67604625719610,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#002","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67604625752378,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#003","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67604625785146,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604625817914,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604625850682,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#006","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":67604625883450,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#025","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":67604625916218,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#026","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":67604625948986,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#027","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67604625981754,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#028","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604626014522,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#029","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604626047290,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#030","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ S","offer_id":67604626080058,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#019","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ M","offer_id":67604626112826,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#020","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ L","offer_id":67604626145594,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#021","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ XL","offer_id":67604626178362,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#022","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604626211130,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#023","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604626243898,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#024","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ S","offer_id":67604626276666,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#013","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ M","offer_id":67604626309434,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#014","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ L","offer_id":67604626342202,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#015","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67604626374970,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#016","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604626407738,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#017","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604626440506,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#018","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/history-back-individual-0.png?v=1791127784"},{"product_id":"boo-bitch-hoodie","title":"Boo Bitch Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eCute ghost. Terrible manners. This cozy hoodie is for pumpkin runs, cold nights, and greeting Halloween like the neighborhood’s least supervised menace.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed fit with drop shoulders, adjustable hood, kangaroo pocket, and ribbed cuffs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e85% cotton, 15% polyester; 290 gsm (8.6 oz)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash gently at 30°C; do not bleach; tumble dry low; keep the iron off the print; do not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cdetails\u003e\u003csummary\u003eSize guide — garment measurements\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat. Compare with a hoodie you already like. Table fits on mobile; scroll if needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57 \/ 67.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e17.72 \/ 45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.47 \/ 52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.03 \/ 58.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.56 \/ 70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.29 \/ 49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.44 \/ 57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62 \/ 60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.54 \/ 72.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65 \/ 55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.41 \/ 62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.21 \/ 61.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.53 \/ 75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62 \/ 60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.38 \/ 67\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.80 \/ 63\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.51 \/ 77.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e25.59 \/ 65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35 \/ 72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e25.39 \/ 64.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e31.50 \/ 80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.56 \/ 70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.31 \/ 77\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e25.98 \/ 66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe ghost is cute enough for the pumpkin patch and rude enough for your actual personality. Finally, festive apparel that does not demand you become a cheerful decorative sign.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to chilly Halloween plans, late coffee, or the bonfire where you somehow become responsible for finding everyone’s keys. Boo, bitch. Check your own damn pockets.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Khaki \/ S","offer_id":67604713767226,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#013","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ M","offer_id":67604713799994,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#014","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ L","offer_id":67604713832762,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#015","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ XL","offer_id":67604713865530,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#016","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604713898298,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#017","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604713931066,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#018","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ S","offer_id":67604713963834,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#007","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ M","offer_id":67604713996602,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#008","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ L","offer_id":67604714029370,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#009","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67604714062138,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#010","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604714094906,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#011","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604714127674,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#012","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67604714160442,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#001","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67604714193210,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#002","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67604714225978,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#003","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67604714258746,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#004","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604714291514,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#005","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604714324282,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#006","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":67604714357050,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#019","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":67604714389818,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#020","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":67604714422586,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#021","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67604714455354,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#022","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604714488122,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#023","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604714520890,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#024","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/boo-bitch-woman-back-market.png?v=1790769072"},{"product_id":"hohoho-your-mom-tee","title":"HoHoHo Your Mom Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eSanta’s got a beer, the reindeer are judging, and somebody’s aunt is asking when you’ll settle down. This shirt has a holiday answer nobody requested and everyone will remember.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed oversized fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash gently at 30°C; do not bleach; tumble dry low; keep the iron off the print; do not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cdetails\u003e\u003csummary\u003eSize guide — garment measurements\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat. Compare with a tee you already like. Table fits on mobile; scroll if needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57 \/ 67.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90 \/ 48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69 \/ 50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46 \/ 21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36 \/ 69.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88 \/ 50.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67 \/ 52.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66 \/ 22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35 \/ 72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87 \/ 53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65 \/ 55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86 \/ 22.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33 \/ 74.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85 \/ 55.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64 \/ 57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06 \/ 23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12 \/ 76.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83 \/ 58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62 \/ 60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25 \/ 23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71 \/ 78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82 \/ 60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61 \/ 62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45 \/ 24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe holiday party has reached the stage where everybody thinks their joke is original. Yours is printed on the shirt, which at least saves you from repeating it every time somebody refills the punch.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the festive bar crawl, the tree lot, or the gathering where somebody specifically requested you act normal. You understood the request. Your wardrobe filed a fucking objection.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Wine Red \/ S","offer_id":67604738736442,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#019","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ M","offer_id":67604738769210,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#020","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ L","offer_id":67604738801978,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#021","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ XL","offer_id":67604738834746,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#022","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604738867514,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#023","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ 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XL","offer_id":67604739817786,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#016","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604739850554,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#017","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604739883322,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#018","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/15403625906490-back1-individual.png?v=1791124923"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-29","title":"Santa’s Mugshot Repeat-Offender Cotton Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eHo ho holy shit—Santa’s got priors. This cotton tee puts a repeat offender on the back and a festive little warning on the front. Christmas has never looked less trustworthy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTurns out breaking into houses, eating unidentified cookies, and making a list of everybody’s behavior raises a few questions downtown. The elves are calling it a misunderstanding. The mugshot is not helping.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the holiday party, the tree lot, or Christmas dinner with the relative who thinks naughty-list jokes have gone too far. Santa has legal problems. 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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This slim-fit holiday tee brings the mugshot energy without the court date.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe slim-fit tee brings Santa’s least flattering holiday portrait to the party. Apparently the North Pole runs on questionable employment practices and a surprising amount of confidence around surveillance footage.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it for festive drinks, cookie runs, and the family gathering where you were asked to bring something tasteful. You brought the dessert. Nobody specified the fucking shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fit: Slim-fit\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Season: Summer\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Sporty\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Material: 92% cotton, 8% spandex\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fabric Weight: 230 gsm (6.8 oz)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Thickness: Thin\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.05\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e59\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e13.39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e13.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.17\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e15.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e15.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e16.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e17.32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.11\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e5.31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e13.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e5.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e6.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e15.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e6.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e16.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e6.89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e17.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e7.28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Wine Red \/ S","offer_id":67605054882106,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#013","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ M","offer_id":67605054914874,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#014","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ L","offer_id":67605054947642,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#015","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ XL","offer_id":67605054980410,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#016","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605055013178,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#017","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605055045946,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#018","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ S","offer_id":67605055078714,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#007","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ M","offer_id":67605055111482,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#008","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ L","offer_id":67605055144250,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#009","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67605055177018,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#010","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605055209786,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#011","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605055242554,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#012","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67605055275322,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#001","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67605055308090,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#002","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67605055340858,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#003","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67605055373626,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#004","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605055406394,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#005","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605055439162,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#006","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ S","offer_id":67605055471930,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#025","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ M","offer_id":67605055504698,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#026","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ L","offer_id":67605055537466,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#027","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67605055570234,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#028","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605055603002,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#029","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605055635770,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#030","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":67605055668538,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#019","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":67605055701306,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#020","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":67605055734074,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#021","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67605055766842,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#022","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605055799610,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#023","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605055832378,"sku":"260930PODAA6659#024","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/15403646419258-back2-individual.png?v=1791125782"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-30","title":"Silent But Deadly No-Witnesses Cotton Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe reaper has arrived, the room has questions, and you’re minding your own business like a professional. A cotton tee for dark-humor fans with impeccable timing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe reaper is waiting, and your talent for looking innocent has finally found appropriate merchandise. Dark humor works best when you let the graphic speak and keep an absolutely straight face.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it for errands, coffee, or movie night with the people who already know your sense of humor has terrible timing. Your silence is not an admission. The shirt is simply deeply fucking unhelpful evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fit: Loose\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Season: Spring \/ Summer \/ Autumn\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Preppy \/ Sporty\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Material: 100% cotton\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fabric Weight: 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Thickness: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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Sometimes it means the reaper is waiting for the perfect moment to ruin the room and deny everything. Slim fit, dark humor, suspicious silence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe slim-fit tee gives your dark sense of humor a uniform and your friends one more reason to stop trusting that innocent expression. The reaper did not come here to host a gratitude circle.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it for casual plans, horror nights, or the coffee run after you have exhausted your social battery. 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This Halloween tee delivers the greeting, the attitude, and the reason the neighbors are pretending not to see you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe small Halloween company logo sits on the chest, with the ghost, pumpkin, and BOO BITCH graphic on the back. Wear it for pumpkin runs, bar nights, and haunting the snack table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fit: Loose\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Season: Spring \/ Summer \/ Autumn\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Preppy \/ Sporty\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not dry 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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