{"title":"Women's Holidays","description":"\u003cp\u003eWomen's holiday gear for real life, real laughs, and all the seasonal bullshit. From Halloween mischief to Thanksgiving truth bombs, wear your sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"tricks-in-her-treat-hoodie","title":"Tricks In Her Treat After-Dark Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe temperature dropped. Your standards remained impressively questionable. This roomy fleece hoodie carries The Real Shit Co. up front and the tricks-in-her-treat pumpkin graphic across the back. Wear it to the bonfire or the bar and let the shirt explain why nobody trusted you with a wholesome Halloween.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe bonfire is lit, the candy is gone, and your friend has already texted a plan that begins with ‘hear me out.’ That is usually how a normal evening turns into a story nobody is allowed to tell at Thanksgiving.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLayer it over your tee for pumpkin patches, late-night snacks, and the walk home after a truly questionable Halloween party. Warm clothes. Bad intentions. Excellent commitment to the bit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fit: Oversized\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Neckline: Hooded\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Length: Long Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Season: Winter\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Sporty\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Material: 53% polyester, 42% cotton, 5% other fibers\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fabric Weight: 345 gsm (10.2 oz)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Thickness: Thick\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken flat. 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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#ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e59\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67584380633402,"sku":"260927PODRB5315#001","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67584380666170,"sku":"260927PODRB5315#002","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67584380698938,"sku":"260927PODRB5315#003","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67584380731706,"sku":"260927PODRB5315#004","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67584380764474,"sku":"260927PODRB5315#005","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/tricks_hoodie-back-lifestyle_74637e2e-cd81-43a6-a759-e95fbf3d8c10.png?v=1790478430"},{"product_id":"tricks-in-her-treat-tee","title":"Tricks In Her Treat Questionable-Agenda Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou came for the candy. Sure you fucking did. The company chest mark keeps the introduction short, while the tricks-in-her-treat pumpkin graphic makes your Halloween agenda everybody’s business. Relaxed cotton, loud back print, and enough bad intentions to ruin a perfectly respectable pumpkin patch outing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the party where somebody spent three hours becoming a sexy household appliance and you showed up dressed as your own worst impulse. Honestly, yours took less effort and explains more.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePair it with jeans and let the back handle introductions. If anybody asks whether the message is inappropriate, congratulations: they can read, and you can go back to finding the snacks.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fit: Loose\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Season: Spring \/ Summer \/ Autumn\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Preppy \/ Sporty\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Material: 100% cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fabric Weight: 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Thickness: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken flat. Compare them with a garment you own.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ein\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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3XL","offer_id":67584384172346,"sku":"260927PODPQ5338#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/tricks_tee-back-lifestyle_d4be01fa-d625-4631-aab7-04c350f1c61b.png?v=1790478429"},{"product_id":"tricks-on-his-treat","title":"Tricks On His Treat Bad-Intentions Slim-Fit Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe costume says innocent. The shirt says quit fucking lying. This slim-fit tee keeps The Real Shit Co. up front and puts the tricks-on-his-treat pumpkin graphic across the back. Made for Halloween parties, late-night plans, and pretending your intentions were ever wholesome.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe slim-fit shape makes getting dressed easy. Your ability to turn one innocent pumpkin joke into a twenty-minute group-chat incident remains entirely your own achievement.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the costume party, the bar, or the haunted house where the scariest thing is still your friend texting ‘we should go out after this.’ Bring a jacket and leave the innocent act at home.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fit: Slim-fit\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Season: Summer\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Sporty\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Material: 92% cotton, 8% spandex\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fabric Weight: 230 gsm (6.8 oz)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Thickness: Thin\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken flat. 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3XL","offer_id":67584434667834,"sku":"260927PODAA5454#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/tricks_his-back-lifestyle_f37ac16d-4dd7-4377-b518-1f44a34de40b.png?v=1790478429"},{"product_id":"tricks-on-his-treat-hoodie","title":"Tricks On His Treat Bad-Intentions Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003ePumpkin spice? Cute. You showed up with a completely different fucking agenda. The Real Shit Co. goes up front; the pumpkin punchline about tricks on his treat goes across the back. Throw on this roomy fleece hoodie for the bonfire, the bar, or a Halloween night that will absolutely not make it into the family newsletter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the layer for the woman who packed a spare phone charger, remembered the drinks, and still somehow gets blamed for the evening’s terrible ideas. Being organized does not make you the fucking chaperone.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it through chilly pumpkin runs and questionable after-party plans. The front keeps the greeting brief. The back makes sure nobody accidentally files you under wholesome holiday traditions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fit: Oversized\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Neckline: Hooded\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Length: Long Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Season: Winter\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Sporty\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Material: 53% polyester, 42% cotton, 5% other fibers\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fabric Weight: 345 gsm (10.2 oz)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Thickness: Thick\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken flat. Compare them with a garment you own.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ein\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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2XL","offer_id":67584464650554,"sku":"260927PODRB5481#005","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/tricks_his_hoodie-back-lifestyle_52250870-702a-48d4-bd51-e0d697d1150e.png?v=1790478431"},{"product_id":"women-s-slim-fit-crewneck-t-shirt","title":"Family Bullshit Slim-Fit Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eA slim-fit reminder that family dinner comes with sides of unsolicited advice and old arguments. Bring the tee, pass the gravy, and mind your own damn business.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe family arrived with casseroles, opinions, and a stunning inability to mind their own fucking business. You arrived with a shirt that puts the problem in writing before anyone asks what you’re doing with your life.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear the slim-fit tee to Thanksgiving dinner, the grocery run for forgotten butter, or the recovery coffee afterward. You can love your relatives and still need three business days to recover from talking to them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e92% cotton, 8% spandex — soft cotton with a little stretch.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e230 gsm (6.8 oz) fabric.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSlim fit with regular shoulders, set-in short sleeves, a ribbed crewneck, and a straight hem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e13.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e16.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e15.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e7.28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67587839525178,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#001","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67587839557946,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#002","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67587839590714,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#003","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67587839623482,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#004","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67587839656250,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#005","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67587839689018,"sku":"260928PODAA4226#006","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-15398072385850-black-back-lifestyle.png?v=1790558843"},{"product_id":"women-s-slim-fit-crewneck-t-shirt-1","title":"Pass The Gravy Slim-Fit Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe gravy is ready; your patience is not. This slim-fit tee brings Thanksgiving truth to the table and gives relatives a fair warning before dessert.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere is gravy on the table and unsolicited advice coming from both directions. One deserves your immediate attention. The other can wait until somebody volunteers to pay your bills.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear this slim-fit tee to the family dinner where every simple question has a follow-up and nobody accepts ‘because I fucking want to’ as a complete answer. Eat your food. Protect your peace. Ask for seconds.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e92% cotton, 8% spandex — soft cotton with a little stretch.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e230 gsm (6.8 oz) fabric.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSlim fit with regular shoulders, set-in short sleeves, a ribbed crewneck, and a straight hem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. Chest is the garment's flat width, not body circumference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eInches\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e13.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e16.54\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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#ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e15.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e7.28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67587999170874,"sku":"260928PODAA4732#001","price":24.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67587999203642,"sku":"260928PODAA4732#002","price":24.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67587999236410,"sku":"260928PODAA4732#003","price":24.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67587999269178,"sku":"260928PODAA4732#004","price":24.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67587999301946,"sku":"260928PODAA4732#005","price":24.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67587999334714,"sku":"260928PODAA4732#006","price":26.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-15398095585594-black-back-lifestyle.png?v=1790558634"},{"product_id":"women-s-slim-fit-crewneck-t-shirt-3","title":"Come Carve Me Pumpkin Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe pumpkin’s ready, the knife is sharp, and the invitation is wildly inappropriate. Bring this tee to Halloween and let the carved grin handle the small talk.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is how you make a pumpkin patch awkward without touching a single pumpkin. The front does the flirting; the back makes sure the people following you know exactly which company encouraged it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to Halloween drinks, carving night, or wherever your friends are pretending they invited you for your restraint. They knew the risk. You simply honored the commitment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e92% cotton, 8% spandex — soft cotton with a little stretch.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e230 gsm (6.8 oz) fabric.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSlim fit with regular shoulders, set-in short sleeves, a ribbed crewneck, and a straight hem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. Chest is the garment's flat width, not body circumference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eInches\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e5.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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#ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e15.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e7.28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67588016079162,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#001","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67588016111930,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#002","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67588016144698,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#003","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67588016177466,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#004","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67588016210234,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#005","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67588016243002,"sku":"260928PODAA4771#006","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-15398097092922-black-front-lifestyle.png?v=1790558608"},{"product_id":"women-s-slim-fit-crewneck-t-shirt-4","title":"Bone Me Bow Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eA bow, a skeleton, and the sort of Halloween greeting that gets repeated by the one friend who has no filter. This tee is built for a loud night and worse jokes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe skeleton brought a bow and a pickup line with the subtlety of a dropped casserole. If your friends wanted innocent Halloween humor, they should have invited somebody with better fucking judgment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the party, the snack run, or the movie night where the commentary becomes more disturbing than the film. The graphic is dressed for the season. Your manners can take the night off.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e92% cotton, 8% spandex — soft cotton with a little stretch.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e230 gsm (6.8 oz) fabric.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSlim fit with regular shoulders, set-in short sleeves, a ribbed crewneck, and a straight hem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. Chest is the garment's flat width, not body circumference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eInches\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e5.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e38\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e6.89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e17.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e15.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e7.28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67588024533306,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#001","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67588024566074,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#002","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67588024598842,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#003","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67588024631610,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#004","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67588024664378,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#005","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67588024697146,"sku":"260928PODAA4803#006","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-15398097584442-black-front-lifestyle.png?v=1790558589"},{"product_id":"boo-bitch-hoodie","title":"Boo Bitch Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eCute ghost. Terrible manners. This cozy hoodie is for pumpkin runs, cold nights, and greeting Halloween like the neighborhood’s least supervised menace.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed fit with drop shoulders, adjustable hood, kangaroo pocket, and ribbed cuffs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e85% cotton, 15% polyester; 290 gsm (8.6 oz)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash gently at 30°C; do not bleach; tumble dry low; keep the iron off the print; do not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cdetails\u003e\u003csummary\u003eSize guide — garment measurements\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat. Compare with a hoodie you already like. Table fits on mobile; scroll if needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57 \/ 67.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e17.72 \/ 45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.47 \/ 52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.03 \/ 58.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.56 \/ 70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.29 \/ 49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.44 \/ 57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62 \/ 60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.54 \/ 72.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65 \/ 55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.41 \/ 62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.21 \/ 61.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.53 \/ 75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62 \/ 60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.38 \/ 67\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.80 \/ 63\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.51 \/ 77.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e25.59 \/ 65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35 \/ 72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e25.39 \/ 64.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e31.50 \/ 80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.56 \/ 70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.31 \/ 77\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e25.98 \/ 66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe ghost is cute enough for the pumpkin patch and rude enough for your actual personality. Finally, festive apparel that does not demand you become a cheerful decorative sign.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to chilly Halloween plans, late coffee, or the bonfire where you somehow become responsible for finding everyone’s keys. Boo, bitch. Check your own damn pockets.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Khaki \/ S","offer_id":67604713767226,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#013","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ M","offer_id":67604713799994,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#014","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ L","offer_id":67604713832762,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#015","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ XL","offer_id":67604713865530,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#016","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604713898298,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#017","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604713931066,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#018","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ S","offer_id":67604713963834,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#007","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ M","offer_id":67604713996602,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#008","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ L","offer_id":67604714029370,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#009","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67604714062138,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#010","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604714094906,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#011","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flower Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604714127674,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#012","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67604714160442,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#001","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67604714193210,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#002","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67604714225978,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#003","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67604714258746,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#004","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604714291514,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#005","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604714324282,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#006","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":67604714357050,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#019","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":67604714389818,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#020","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":67604714422586,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#021","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67604714455354,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#022","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604714488122,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#023","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604714520890,"sku":"260930PODRB5671#024","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/boo-bitch-woman-back-market.png?v=1790769072"},{"product_id":"hohoho-your-mom-tee","title":"HoHoHo Your Mom Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eSanta’s got a beer, the reindeer are judging, and somebody’s aunt is asking when you’ll settle down. This shirt has a holiday answer nobody requested and everyone will remember.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed oversized fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash gently at 30°C; do not bleach; tumble dry low; keep the iron off the print; do not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cdetails\u003e\u003csummary\u003eSize guide — garment measurements\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat. Compare with a tee you already like. Table fits on mobile; scroll if needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57 \/ 67.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90 \/ 48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69 \/ 50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46 \/ 21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36 \/ 69.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88 \/ 50.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67 \/ 52.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66 \/ 22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35 \/ 72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87 \/ 53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65 \/ 55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86 \/ 22.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33 \/ 74.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85 \/ 55.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64 \/ 57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06 \/ 23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12 \/ 76.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83 \/ 58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62 \/ 60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25 \/ 23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71 \/ 78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82 \/ 60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61 \/ 62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45 \/ 24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe holiday party has reached the stage where everybody thinks their joke is original. Yours is printed on the shirt, which at least saves you from repeating it every time somebody refills the punch.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the festive bar crawl, the tree lot, or the gathering where somebody specifically requested you act normal. You understood the request. Your wardrobe filed a fucking objection.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Wine Red \/ S","offer_id":67604738736442,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#019","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ M","offer_id":67604738769210,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#020","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ L","offer_id":67604738801978,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#021","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ XL","offer_id":67604738834746,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#022","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604738867514,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#023","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604738900282,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#024","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ S","offer_id":67604738933050,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#007","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ M","offer_id":67604738965818,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#008","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ L","offer_id":67604738998586,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#009","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67604739031354,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#010","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604739064122,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#011","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604739096890,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#012","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 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M","offer_id":67604739359034,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#032","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":67604739391802,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#033","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67604739424570,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#034","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604739457338,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#035","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604739490106,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#036","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ S","offer_id":67604739522874,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#025","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ M","offer_id":67604739555642,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#026","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ L","offer_id":67604739588410,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#027","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ XL","offer_id":67604739621178,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#028","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604739653946,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#029","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604739686714,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#030","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ S","offer_id":67604739719482,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#013","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ M","offer_id":67604739752250,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#014","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ L","offer_id":67604739785018,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#015","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67604739817786,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#016","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604739850554,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#017","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604739883322,"sku":"260930PODPQ5754#018","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/15403625906490-back1-individual.png?v=1791124923"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-29","title":"Santa’s Mugshot Repeat-Offender Cotton Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eHo ho holy shit—Santa’s got priors. This cotton tee puts a repeat offender on the back and a festive little warning on the front. Christmas has never looked less trustworthy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTurns out breaking into houses, eating unidentified cookies, and making a list of everybody’s behavior raises a few questions downtown. The elves are calling it a misunderstanding. The mugshot is not helping.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the holiday party, the tree lot, or Christmas dinner with the relative who thinks naughty-list jokes have gone too far. Santa has legal problems. Your shirt has excellent fucking timing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fit: Loose\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Season: Spring \/ Summer \/ Autumn\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Preppy \/ Sporty\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Material: 100% cotton\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fabric Weight: 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Thickness: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" 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Your willingness to share the last cookie is not.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eAvailable sizes\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003ccaption style=\"text-align:left;padding:8px 0\"\u003eBlack tee — available sizes and prices\u003c\/caption\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ePrice\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e$26.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e$26.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e$26.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e$26.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e$26.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e$28.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67613451714874,"sku":"261002PODPQ2552#001","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67613451747642,"sku":"261002PODPQ2552#002","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67613451780410,"sku":"261002PODPQ2552#003","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67613451813178,"sku":"261002PODPQ2552#004","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67613451845946,"sku":"261002PODPQ2552#005","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67613451878714,"sku":"261002PODPQ2552#006","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/scream-back1-correct-individual.png?v=1791125203"},{"product_id":"i-scream-you-scream-we-all-scream-tee","title":"I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eI scream. You scream. The ice cream employee is wondering whether this job comes with hazard pay. Finally, a dessert that understands how the week is going.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe company chest mark keeps the front simple; the screaming skull ice-cream graphic brings the horror-show energy across the back. For horror fans, snack runners, and anyone whose patience melts considerably faster than their sundae.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the ice cream shop, the movie night, or the errand you were promised would take five minutes. You came for a treat. If somebody starts explaining why you should smile more, they are about to learn the theme.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Each item is made just for you after you place your order. This helps reduce waste and keeps us from making a bunch of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67613461905722,"sku":"261002PODPQ2567#001","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67613461938490,"sku":"261002PODPQ2567#002","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67613461971258,"sku":"261002PODPQ2567#003","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67613462004026,"sku":"261002PODPQ2567#004","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67613462036794,"sku":"261002PODPQ2567#005","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67613462069562,"sku":"261002PODPQ2567#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/scream-correct-back1-correct-individual.png?v=1791125237"},{"product_id":"i-put-out-for-santa-tee-1","title":"I Put Out for Santa Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou put out cookies for Santa. 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Machine wash cold and tumble dry low.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67613489004858,"sku":"261002PODAA2740#001","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67613489037626,"sku":"261002PODAA2740#002","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67613489070394,"sku":"261002PODAA2740#003","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67613489103162,"sku":"261002PODAA2740#004","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67613489135930,"sku":"261002PODAA2740#005","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/santawomen-back1-correct-individual.png?v=1791125271"},{"product_id":"i-put-out-for-santa-tee-women-s","title":"I Put Out for Santa Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eSanta gets the cookies. The family group chat gets an attitude. You put out a perfectly respectable snack and somehow everybody else turned it into a scandal.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe slim-fit tee carries the original company chest mark and the gingerbread-and-cookies I Put Out for Santa artwork across the back. Bring it to a Christmas market, a baking night, or the gathering where the nicest invitation always comes with the longest list of rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMilk chilled, cookies counted, holiday bullshit on a strict limit. If somebody wants wholesome, they can go stand beside the inflatable snowman and leave you to enjoy the party.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Each item is made just for you after you place your order. This helps reduce waste and keeps us from making a bunch of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67613493985594,"sku":"261002PODAA2740#001","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67613494018362,"sku":"261002PODAA2740#002","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67613494051130,"sku":"261002PODAA2740#003","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67613494083898,"sku":"261002PODAA2740#004","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67613494116666,"sku":"261002PODAA2740#005","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/santawomen-back1-correct-individual.png?v=1791125271"},{"product_id":"experienced-ball-handler-tee","title":"Experienced Ball Handler Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eHoliday decorating needs a steady hand and somebody who won’t make it weird. You qualify for exactly one of those. Skeleton hands, dressed-up ornaments, and Experienced Ball Handler across the back bring professional decoration skills and deeply questionable party manners.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe ornaments need hanging and the jokes have already gone completely off the rails. This tee turns a perfectly ordinary decorating job into something your friends will bring up every damn December.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the tree lot, the holiday party, or decorating night when somebody asks for experienced volunteers. You have the shirt. That is obviously all the professional fucking certification required.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe actual shirt\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold; tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003ccaption style=\"text-align:left;font-weight:bold;padding:8px 0\"\u003eAvailable sizes \u0026amp; fit\u003c\/caption\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSizes\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eFit\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eColor\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eRelaxed unisex fit\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eBlack\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67613504602426,"sku":"261002PODPQ2843#001","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67613504635194,"sku":"261002PODPQ2843#002","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67613504667962,"sku":"261002PODPQ2843#003","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67613504700730,"sku":"261002PODPQ2843#004","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67613504733498,"sku":"261002PODPQ2843#005","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67613504766266,"sku":"261002PODPQ2843#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/handlerBackA_709d0eea-2dec-4d8c-a6a8-d712ac3c6885.png?v=1790895670"},{"product_id":"jingle-balls-tee","title":"Jingle Balls Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe carolers asked for harmony. You brought Jingle Balls. Gingerbread, antlers, lights, and a holiday punchline across the back make this your uniform for festive gatherings where “please be normal” was clearly a suggestion. The front logo gives fair warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe tree is lit, the gingerbread is festive, and the punchline has the exact maturity level your friends expect from you. Christmas spirit does not automatically come with good manners.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the holiday party, the gift run, or dinner where somebody keeps asking you to stop encouraging your cousins. They can sing the original carol. You have already committed to the fucking remix.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe actual shirt\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold; tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003ccaption style=\"text-align:left;font-weight:bold;padding:8px 0\"\u003eAvailable sizes \u0026amp; fit\u003c\/caption\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSizes\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eFit\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eColor\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eRelaxed unisex fit\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eBlack\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67613508403514,"sku":"261002PODPQ2889#001","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67613508436282,"sku":"261002PODPQ2889#002","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67613508469050,"sku":"261002PODPQ2889#003","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67613508501818,"sku":"261002PODPQ2889#004","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67613508534586,"sku":"261002PODPQ2889#005","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67613508567354,"sku":"261002PODPQ2889#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/jingle-balls-back-porch_9ae49f82-6012-4ff3-be39-5f2aada87a24.png?v=1790895194"},{"product_id":"hohoho-your-mom-tee-2512538","title":"HoHoHo Your Mom Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSanta brought beer. The reindeer brought backup. You brought the reason nobody trusts you with the family Christmas card.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eHoHoHo Your Mom Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e puts Santa, his antlered drinking buddies, Christmas lights, and a spectacularly inappropriate punchline across your back. The festive Real Shit Co. logo sits on the front chest, because even your bad decisions deserve proper branding.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the Christmas cookout, the bar, or the gift exchange where somebody insists everyone “keep it classy.” Congratulations. You’ve given them something to bitch about besides the potato salad. Also an excellent gift for the friend who treats the naughty list like a fucking loyalty program.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe actual shirt details\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlack, 100% cotton, 260 gsm (7.7 oz) fabric.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoose, oversized fit with a round neck and short sleeves.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChristmas chest logo on the front; full HoHoHo Your Mom graphic on the back.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in S–3XL.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eKeep your shit looking good\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, avoiding the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCompare these supplier garment measurements with a tee you already own. Chest width is measured flat across the shirt, not around your body.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide (inches)\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eChest width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eSleeve\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e27.36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e19.88\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e20.67\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e28.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e20.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e21.65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e29.33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e21.85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e22.64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e30.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e30.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide (cm)\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eChest width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eSleeve\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e67.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e69.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e50.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e52.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e22.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e74.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e55.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e76.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Real Shit Co.\u003c\/strong\u003e Real Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67627259232570,"sku":"261004PODPQ9472#001","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67627259265338,"sku":"261004PODPQ9472#002","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67627259298106,"sku":"261004PODPQ9472#003","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67627259330874,"sku":"261004PODPQ9472#004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67627259363642,"sku":"261004PODPQ9472#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67627259396410,"sku":"261004PODPQ9472#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/hohoho-your-mom-back-market.png?v=1791125693"},{"product_id":"tinsel-tits-slim-fit-crewneck-tee","title":"Tinsel Tits Slim Fit Crewneck Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe tree is decorated, the drinks are poured, and your friends have already lost the right to be described as tastefully festive. Tinsel Tits is Christmas spirit with the exact manners they expected from you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis women’s slim-fit tee keeps the festive company mark on the front chest and the antlered holiday punchline across the back. The cotton-viscose-spandex blend gives this version a fitted, stretchy feel; use its own garment chart rather than the chart for the loose tee.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to gift shopping, festive drinks, or the party where somebody specifically asked everyone to behave for one fucking photograph. The shirt is dressed for Christmas. Your personality declined the invitation to become wholesome.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Each item is made just for you after you place your order. This helps reduce waste and keeps us from making a bunch of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fit: Bodycon\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Season: Summer\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Material: 46% cotton, 46% viscose, 8% spandex\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fabric Weight: 250 gsm (7.4 oz)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Thickness: Thin\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eSupplier garment measurements. Measure a similar garment laid flat; chest width is not your body circumference.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch4\u003einches\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.47\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e13.31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e13.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e5.51\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e13.78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e5.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e15.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e5.91\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e16.14\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e6.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e15.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e16.93\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e6.30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch4\u003ecm\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e33.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e14\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e53.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd 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people deck the halls. 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