{"title":"Men's Shirts","description":"\u003cp\u003eMen’s shirts with actual personality. Rugged, funny, inappropriate, blue-collar, outdoorsy, and not remotely interested in behaving.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"gritty-red-halo-drop-shoulder-tee","title":"Red Halo Zero-Fucks Mineral-Wash Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eYour halo slipped. Your middle finger stayed right where it fucking belongs. The gritty hand and red halo graphic take the front; The Real Shit Co. finishes the conversation across the back. This oversized mineral-wash tee is for coffee runs, bar stools, and everyday situations that somehow require more patience than you packed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor the days when being the bigger person sounds suspiciously like doing unpaid emotional labor. The washed finish and oversized shape keep the outfit easy while the graphic lets everybody know the customer-service voice is off duty.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it with jeans, shorts, or whatever survived laundry day. Your halo does not need polishing. The people testing your patience might need a fucking hobby.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eEffects: Snow Wash \/ mineral wash (each piece will vary slightly)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eFit: Oversized, relaxed boxy silhouette\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eNeckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eSleeve Style: Drop Shoulder\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eSleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eSeason: Summer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eStyle: Street \/ Casual\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eFront: gritty white\/black hand + red splat halo\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eBack: “THE REAL SHIT CO.” lockup with finger graphic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eMaterial: 100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eFabric Weight: 275 gsm (8.1 oz)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eThickness: Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eBreathability: Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eMachine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eIron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements in inches and centimeters.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.84\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e25.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e59\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e63\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e10.24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e11.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e25.59\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.17\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e11.42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Real Shit Co.","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67579225112890,"sku":"260926PODPQ4387#001","price":32.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67579225145658,"sku":"260926PODPQ4387#002","price":32.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67579225178426,"sku":"260926PODPQ4387#003","price":32.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67579225211194,"sku":"260926PODPQ4387#004","price":32.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67579225243962,"sku":"260926PODPQ4387#005","price":32.94,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/gritty-front-workshop-v2.png?v=1790535716"},{"product_id":"toothy-boars-and-rank-whores-cotton-tee","title":"Toothy Boars and Rank Whores","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people like cute little pigs. \u003cstrong\u003eThis ain’t that fucking shirt.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eToothy Boars and Rank Whores\u003c\/strong\u003e tee brings big-tusk energy on a heavyweight oversized tee built for comfort without looking basic as hell.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade from \u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton at a solid 260 GSM\u003c\/strong\u003e, it has that substantial, premium feel while still being comfortable enough to wear all damn day.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLoose, easy, and unapologetic, like your whores.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThrow it on with jeans, shorts, work pants, or whatever the hell is clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe Shirt Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Loose \/ Oversized\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNeckline:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic Round Neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Regular Short Sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 260 GSM \/ 7.7 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBreathability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Spring, Summer \u0026amp; Fall\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVibe:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rugged, casual, and definitely not fucking subtle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake Care of Your Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eMachine wash at \u003cstrong\u003e30°C \/ gentle cycle\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eIron on low if needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo not iron directly over the graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBig tusks. 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shirt.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eCoochie \u0026amp; Cur Dogs Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the dog-running, truck-driving, woods-wandering crowd whose sense of humor probably shouldn't be repeated around polite company.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe back features a \u003cstrong\u003eyellow Black Mouth Cur-style dog\u003c\/strong\u003e front and center with the \u003cstrong\u003eCoochie \u0026amp; Cur Dogs\u003c\/strong\u003e graphic in worn-out, old-school hunting colors. The front stays clean with a small white \u003cstrong\u003eTHE REAL SHIT CO.\u003c\/strong\u003e chest mark.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause sometimes the front should behave while the back does all the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBuilt from \u003cstrong\u003e260 GSM 100% cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e, this isn't some paper-thin bullshit tee you'll wash three times and wonder where the hell it went. It's substantial, comfortable, loose-fitting, and made for actual life—whether you're running dogs, working, drinking around a tailgate, disappearing into the woods, or doing something you probably don't need photographed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe Shirt Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Loose \/ oversized\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e Small white The Real Shit Co. chest mark\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-size Coochie \u0026amp; Cur Dogs graphic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNeck:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic round crew\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Regular short sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 260 GSM \/ 7.7 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e Solid midweight feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBreathability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Enough to keep your ass from regretting wearing it outside\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Hunting, running dogs, working, drinking, raising hell \u0026amp; minding your own damn business\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake Care of Your Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eMachine wash at \u003cstrong\u003e30°C \/ gentle cycle\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eIron on low if necessary\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDon't iron directly over the graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eDog hair is expected and encouraged\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood dogs. Bad jokes. Questionable priorities.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSounds about fucking right.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements in inches and centimeters.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ein\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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your back. 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Tumble dry low. Iron on low if you have to, but \u003cstrong\u003edo not iron directly over the print\u003c\/strong\u003e. No bleach. No dry cleaning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Garment measurements are listed in inches and centimeters. 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Exactly how it should be.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade from heavyweight \u003cstrong\u003e100% cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e with a loose, oversized fit, this tee was built for nights out, concerts, dive bars, questionable decisions, and hanging with the kind of friends who already know there’s probably a story behind the shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eComfortable enough to wear all damn day.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLoud enough to start conversations all damn night.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTHE SHIT YOU NEED TO KNOW\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Loose \/ Oversized\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 260 GSM \/ 7.7 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNeckline:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic Round Neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Short Sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThickness:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBreathability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Moderate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeason:\u003c\/strong\u003e Spring, Summer \u0026amp; Fall\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e Small The Real Shit Co. chest logo\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-size “All These Hoes Keep Grindin’ On Me” graphic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-list=\"bullet\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"ql-ui\" contenteditable=\"false\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVibe:\u003c\/strong\u003e Zero fucking explanation required\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eDON'T FUCK IT UP\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at \u003cstrong\u003e30°C \/ 86°F on a gentle cycle\u003c\/strong\u003e. Tumble dry low. Iron on low if you absolutely have to—but \u003cstrong\u003edon't iron directly over the graphics\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo bleach. No dry cleaning. Don't do weird shit to it and it'll be fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Real Shit Co.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eReal Life. Real Words. 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If anybody asks whether the message is inappropriate, congratulations: they can read, and you can go back to finding the snacks.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fit: Loose\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Season: Spring \/ Summer \/ Autumn\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Preppy \/ Sporty\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Material: 100% cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Fabric Weight: 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Thickness: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken flat. 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length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67584384008506,"sku":"260927PODPQ5338#001","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67584384041274,"sku":"260927PODPQ5338#002","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67584384074042,"sku":"260927PODPQ5338#003","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67584384106810,"sku":"260927PODPQ5338#004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67584384139578,"sku":"260927PODPQ5338#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 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Sure. Sweet? Depends how brave everybody else is feeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSandy Beev\u003c\/strong\u003e is a black oversized tee with a small The Real Shit Co. mark on the front and a loud, ridiculous back graphic for anyone whose personality has layers, warning signs, and absolutely no interest in being normal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is soft, heavy enough to feel like real clothes, and loose enough for errands, cookouts, boardwalk nonsense, or whatever questionable plans somehow became the plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eThe Shirt Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Loose \/ oversized\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e Small The Real Shit Co. chest mark\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-size Sandy Beev graphic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNeck:\u003c\/strong\u003e Round crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Regular short sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 260 GSM \/ 7.7 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Substantial, breathable, and made for everyday bullshit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eTake Care of Your Shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on gentle cycle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIron on low if needed, but do not iron directly over the print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor the sandy, sassy, slightly unhinged part of the personality chart.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken flat. 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67587904897338,"sku":"260928PODPQ4465#001","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67587904930106,"sku":"260928PODPQ4465#002","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67587904962874,"sku":"260928PODPQ4465#003","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67587904995642,"sku":"260928PODPQ4465#004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67587905028410,"sku":"260928PODPQ4465#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67587905061178,"sku":"260928PODPQ4465#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-15398089163066-black-back-lifestyle.png?v=1790558825"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-5","title":"Hallo-Fucking-Ween Skeleton Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe skeleton’s dressed for Halloween and has less patience than the living. Wear it for the candy run, the party, or avoiding the neighbor who tells long stories.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA skeleton has no skin, no bills, and apparently no obligation to smile politely through your neighbor’s twenty-minute story. Frankly, the undead have arranged a better benefits package.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it for Halloween drinks, candy duty, or being the friend who ruins a wholesome group photo with excellent fucking consistency. Your costume can wait. Your terrible sense of humor showed up dressed already.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton — soft, breathable, and ready for repeat wear.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e260 gsm (7.7 oz) fabric with some substance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoose, oversized fit with a round neck and regular short sleeves.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. Chest is the garment's flat width, not body circumference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eInches\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e76.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67587941269818,"sku":"260928PODPQ4557#001","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 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This Thanksgiving tee is family dinner armor in cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf your relatives put the same effort into passing the gravy that they put into asking intrusive questions, dinner would be a goddamn logistical miracle. Until then, your shirt can help redirect the conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to Thanksgiving, the pre-dinner store run, and the walk you take afterward because somebody thinks dessert is a good time to discuss your future. The only plan you owe the table is seconds.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton — soft, breathable, and ready for repeat wear.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e260 gsm (7.7 oz) fabric with some substance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoose, oversized fit with a round neck and regular short sleeves.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67587955425594,"sku":"260928PODPQ4600#001","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67587955458362,"sku":"260928PODPQ4600#002","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67587955491130,"sku":"260928PODPQ4600#003","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67587955523898,"sku":"260928PODPQ4600#004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67587955556666,"sku":"260928PODPQ4600#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67587955589434,"sku":"260928PODPQ4600#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-15398092374330-black-back-lifestyle.png?v=1790558791"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-7-2467463","title":"Grab Your Booze Halloween Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe ghosts are out, the cooler is open, and the party’s already making questionable choices. This Halloween tee knows the priorities and refuses to whisper them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour friends brought costumes. You brought a practical understanding of what keeps a Halloween party from becoming a mandatory team-building exercise. Priorities matter, and yours are printed where everyone can see them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the bonfire, the costume party, or the last-minute snack run. Bring your own damn booze, keep track of your phone, and stop trusting the friend who says ‘this is going to be a quiet night.’\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton — soft, breathable, and ready for repeat wear.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e260 gsm (7.7 oz) fabric with some substance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoose, oversized fit with a round neck and regular short sleeves.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. Chest is the garment's flat width, not body circumference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eInches\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e76.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67588042916154,"sku":"260928PODPQ4887#001","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67588042948922,"sku":"260928PODPQ4887#002","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67588042981690,"sku":"260928PODPQ4887#003","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67588043014458,"sku":"260928PODPQ4887#004","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67588043047226,"sku":"260928PODPQ4887#005","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67588043079994,"sku":"260928PODPQ4887#006","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/trsc-15398098960698-black-back-lifestyle.png?v=1790558579"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-9","title":"Carve Season Cotton Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003ePumpkin season is here, the carving tools are out, and somebody’s about to make a terrible decision with a grin. This cotton tee is Halloween trouble with sleeves.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe carving plan was simple until your least supervised friend arrived with a joke that should never be repeated around children. This tee shares that exact lack of interest in keeping things tasteful.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it for pumpkins, parties, and pretending your Halloween plans are still under control. If your friends ask for wholesome vibes, point them toward the decorative gourds and continue being a fucking problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe good shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton — soft, breathable, and ready for repeat wear.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e260 gsm (7.7 oz) fabric with some substance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoose, oversized fit with a round neck and regular short sleeves.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted front and back. See the photos for the full attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL. Check the size guide below before you commit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTake care of your shit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash at 30°C on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low heat, keeping the iron off the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eReal Life. Real Words. No Bullshit.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails id=\"size-guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;margin-top:24px;\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide — Find Your Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck your fit before you commit. Compare these garment measurements with a similar top you already like. Chest is the garment's flat width, not body circumference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasure\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eInches\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67588066017594,"sku":"260928PODPQ4968#001","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 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The back print is simply the written fucking confirmation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe details\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBoxy oversized fit with drop shoulders and a shorter silhouette.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, 275 gsm (8.1 oz), with a mineral wash finish.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSmall brand mark on the front; bold statement graphic on the back.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in White, Royal Blue, Light Gray, Black and Dark Gray.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold or at 30°C on gentle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low, avoiding the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are of the garment laid flat, in inches. Chest is measured across the front. Compare with a shirt you already own; measurements may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasurement\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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Compare with a shirt you already own; measurements may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eMeasurement\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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The joke simply has terrible fucking manners.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe details\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoose fit heavyweight crewneck tee in 100% cotton, 260 gsm (7.7 oz).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLarge front graphic; matching brand print on the back.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in Black, Coffee and Dark Gray.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold or at 30°C on gentle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low, avoiding the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are of the garment laid flat, in inches. Chest is measured across the front. 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The answer is a complicated fucking accounting issue, and the fish is not accepting questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe details\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed, loose-fit crewneck tee.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, 260 gsm (7.7 oz); substantial feel with a soft, breathable finish.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSmall branded front print and full-size graphic on the back.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in Pink, White, White Gray, Black, Navy Blue and Dark Gray.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold or at 30°C on gentle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Iron on low, avoiding the print. 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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For the angler who can laugh about it once the boat stops rocking.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe grouper is real. The joke is childish. Your friends have had every opportunity to become respectable people, and yet here you all are making the same damn noise at the bait cooler.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it for boat mornings, dock drinks, and telling fishing stories that become progressively less suitable for a family restaurant. Saltwater humor with exactly the maturity level your crew ordered.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe shirt\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoose, easy fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e260 gsm (7.7 oz) fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors and sizes S–3XL; options vary by color\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eCare\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements are in inches. Measure a shirt you own flat across the chest and compare. Chest width is measured from armpit to armpit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken by hand and may vary slightly. Please use the size chart before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":67592850866490,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#007","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":67592850899258,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#008","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":67592850932026,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#009","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":67592850964794,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#010","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":67592850997562,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#011","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":67592851030330,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#012","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue \/ 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XL","offer_id":67592851751226,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#034","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67592851783994,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#035","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67592851816762,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#036","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ S","offer_id":67592851849530,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#025","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ M","offer_id":67592851882298,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#026","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ L","offer_id":67592851915066,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#027","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67592851947834,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#028","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67592851980602,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#029","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67592852013370,"sku":"260929PODPQ1421#030","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/exec-d2c0568e-2260-4a8a-9512-905df019282e.png?v=1790620821"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-20","title":"All Camo. No Game. Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eAll camo, no game, and no interest in another forty-five-minute lecture about scent control. Wear it to camp and let the shirt do the scouting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou dressed like the forest, researched the gear, and spent a small fortune to watch squirrels disrespect you for six hours. The camouflage is working. The freezer update is pending.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to camp, the sporting-goods store, or the diner where everyone suddenly becomes an expert on what you should have done differently. Their advice is free, loud, and worth exactly fucking that.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe shirt\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoose, easy fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e260 gsm (7.7 oz) fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors and sizes S–3XL; options vary by color\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eCare\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements are in inches. Measure a shirt you own flat across the chest and compare. Chest width is measured from armpit to armpit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken by hand and may vary slightly. 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Do not iron directly on the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements are in inches. Measure a shirt you own flat across the chest and compare. 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Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eNormal people call it duck hunting. You call it getting up at 3 a.m. to catfish birds. Wear it to the blind so everyone knows your sleep schedule is a cry for help.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe alarm is offensive, the coffee is legally essential, and your friends are standing in the dark arranging fake ducks like an extremely underfunded theater production. Somehow this counts as a relaxing hobby.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the blind, the boat ramp, or breakfast afterward when everyone has an opinion about the birds. You got up at three in the fucking morning. Normal conversation can wait until the second pot.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe shirt\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoose, easy fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e260 gsm (7.7 oz) fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors and sizes S–3XL; options vary by color\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eCare\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements are in inches. Measure a shirt you own flat across the chest and compare. Chest width is measured from armpit to armpit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken by hand and may vary slightly. Please use the size chart before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Wine Red \/ S","offer_id":67592910766394,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#025","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ M","offer_id":67592910799162,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#026","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ L","offer_id":67592910831930,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#027","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ XL","offer_id":67592910864698,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#028","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":67592910897466,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#029","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":67592910930234,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#030","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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L","offer_id":67592911421754,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#003","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67592911454522,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67592911487290,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67592911520058,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":67592911552826,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#037","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":67592911585594,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#038","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":67592911618362,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#039","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67592911651130,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#040","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67592911683898,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#041","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67592911716666,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#042","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ S","offer_id":67592911749434,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#031","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ M","offer_id":67592911782202,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#032","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ L","offer_id":67592911814970,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#033","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ XL","offer_id":67592911847738,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#034","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ 2XL","offer_id":67592911880506,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#035","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ 3XL","offer_id":67592911913274,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#036","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ S","offer_id":67592911946042,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#019","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ M","offer_id":67592911978810,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#020","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ L","offer_id":67592912011578,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#021","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67592912044346,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#022","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67592912077114,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#023","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67592912109882,"sku":"260929PODPQ1500#024","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/exec-55190f4e-f1a0-4785-96d5-ff12cde652a3.png?v=1790621097"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-23","title":"Locally Sourced Financial Ruin Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eFresh fish, fresh air, and a tackle bill that could’ve paid the mortgage. Wear this offshore while spending a fortune to catch dinner you could’ve bought at the store.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLocally sourced is a beautiful phrase until the source requires boat fuel, tackle upgrades, and a weather app you check more often than your bank balance. Dinner has acquired a substantial overhead problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the marina, the fish fry, or the checkout where one more lure becomes an entire financial decision. The fish is fresh. The spending habits are absolutely fucking unsustainable. Excellent shirt, though.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe shirt\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoose, easy fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e260 gsm (7.7 oz) fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors and sizes S–3XL; options vary by color\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements are in inches. Measure a shirt you own flat across the chest and compare. Chest width is measured from armpit to armpit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken by hand and may vary slightly. 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Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements are in inches. Measure a shirt you own flat across the chest and compare. 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Please use the size chart before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Pink \/ S","offer_id":67593263546682,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#019","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ M","offer_id":67593263579450,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#020","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ L","offer_id":67593263612218,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#021","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ XL","offer_id":67593263644986,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#022","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 2XL","offer_id":67593263677754,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#023","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 3XL","offer_id":67593263710522,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#024","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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XL","offer_id":67593264431418,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67593264464186,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67593264496954,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":67593264529722,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#043","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":67593264562490,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#044","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":67593264595258,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#045","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67593264628026,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#046","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 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3XL","offer_id":67593264890170,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#042","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ S","offer_id":67593264922938,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#031","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ M","offer_id":67593264955706,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#032","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ L","offer_id":67593264988474,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#033","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67593265021242,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#034","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67593265054010,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#035","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67593265086778,"sku":"260929PODPQ1933#036","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/exec-82d5e041-e7cd-4e6d-8955-99c3e6d2bb4d.png?v=1790623515"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-26","title":"The “What the Fuck” Insurance Guy Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eYour hobbies have your insurance agent asking follow-up questions and your friends pretending they weren’t there. Wear it to camp and let the back handle the explanation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour insurance guy used to ask routine questions. Now he reads your hobbies, takes a long pause, and says the phrase that also describes your friends’ group chat after every weekend away.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to camp, the cookout, or the errand run before the next deeply questionable outdoor plan. If an explanation requires a diagram and ‘technically,’ the shirt probably has the right fucking summary.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe shirt\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoose, easy fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e260 gsm (7.7 oz) fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors and sizes S–3XL; options vary by color\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold on a gentle cycle. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements are in inches. Measure a shirt you own flat across the chest and compare. Chest width is measured from armpit to armpit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"size-chart-scroll\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken by hand and may vary slightly. Please use the size chart before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Wine Red \/ S","offer_id":67593322070330,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#025","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ M","offer_id":67593322103098,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#026","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ L","offer_id":67593322135866,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#027","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ XL","offer_id":67593322168634,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#028","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":67593322201402,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#029","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":67593322234170,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#030","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":67593322266938,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#007","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":67593322299706,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#008","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":67593322332474,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#009","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":67593322365242,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#010","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":67593322398010,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#011","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":67593322430778,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#012","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ S","offer_id":67593322463546,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#013","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ M","offer_id":67593322496314,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#014","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ L","offer_id":67593322529082,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#015","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67593322561850,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#016","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67593322594618,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#017","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67593322627386,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#018","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67593322660154,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#001","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67593322692922,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#002","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67593322725690,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#003","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67593322758458,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67593322791226,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67593322823994,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#006","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":67593322856762,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#031","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":67593322889530,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#032","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":67593322922298,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#033","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67593322955066,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#034","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67593322987834,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#035","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67593323020602,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#036","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ S","offer_id":67593323053370,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#037","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ M","offer_id":67593323086138,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#038","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ L","offer_id":67593323118906,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#039","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ XL","offer_id":67593323151674,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#040","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ 2XL","offer_id":67593323184442,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#041","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ 3XL","offer_id":67593323217210,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#042","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ S","offer_id":67593323249978,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#019","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ M","offer_id":67593323282746,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#020","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ L","offer_id":67593323315514,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#021","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67593323348282,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#022","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67593323381050,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#023","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67593323413818,"sku":"260929PODPQ2028#024","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/exec-811810f4-2d57-428f-9458-1ddf770cf386.png?v=1790623497"},{"product_id":"i-may-not-go-down-in-history-tee","title":"I May Not Go Down in History Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe front starts the story; the back finishes it with the kind of line your history teacher would’ve confiscated. Wear it to the diner, the bar, or wherever people still read shirts.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed oversized fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash gently at 30°C; do not bleach; tumble dry low; keep the iron off the print; do not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cdetails\u003e\u003csummary\u003eSize guide — garment measurements\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat. Compare with a tee you already like. Table fits on mobile; scroll if needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57 \/ 67.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90 \/ 48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69 \/ 50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46 \/ 21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36 \/ 69.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88 \/ 50.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67 \/ 52.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66 \/ 22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35 \/ 72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87 \/ 53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65 \/ 55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86 \/ 22.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33 \/ 74.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85 \/ 55.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64 \/ 57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06 \/ 23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12 \/ 76.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83 \/ 58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62 \/ 60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25 \/ 23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71 \/ 78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82 \/ 60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61 \/ 62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45 \/ 24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome legacies belong in museums. Yours may be more of a private conversation that your friends refuse to let die. The front and back prints make sure the joke survives every time you turn around.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the bar, the cookout, or the coffee run where somebody is bound to read it out loud. You do not need a statue. Apparently you need friends with worse fucking memories.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"White Gray \/ S","offer_id":67604625490234,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#007","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ M","offer_id":67604625523002,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#008","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ L","offer_id":67604625555770,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#009","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67604625588538,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#010","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604625621306,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#011","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604625654074,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#012","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67604625686842,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#001","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67604625719610,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#002","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67604625752378,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#003","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67604625785146,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604625817914,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604625850682,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#006","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":67604625883450,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#025","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":67604625916218,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#026","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":67604625948986,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#027","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67604625981754,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#028","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604626014522,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#029","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604626047290,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#030","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ S","offer_id":67604626080058,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#019","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ M","offer_id":67604626112826,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#020","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ L","offer_id":67604626145594,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#021","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ XL","offer_id":67604626178362,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#022","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604626211130,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#023","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604626243898,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#024","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ S","offer_id":67604626276666,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#013","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ M","offer_id":67604626309434,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#014","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ L","offer_id":67604626342202,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#015","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67604626374970,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#016","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67604626407738,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#017","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67604626440506,"sku":"260930PODPQ5023#018","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/history-back-individual-0.png?v=1791127784"},{"product_id":"hohoho-your-mom-tee","title":"HoHoHo Your Mom Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eSanta’s got a beer, the reindeer are judging, and somebody’s aunt is asking when you’ll settle down. This shirt has a holiday answer nobody requested and everyone will remember.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed oversized fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash gently at 30°C; do not bleach; tumble dry low; keep the iron off the print; do not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cdetails\u003e\u003csummary\u003eSize guide — garment measurements\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat. Compare with a tee you already like. Table fits on mobile; scroll if needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"max-width:100%;overflow-x:auto\"\u003e\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest width (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve (in\/cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57 \/ 67.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90 \/ 48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69 \/ 50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46 \/ 21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36 \/ 69.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88 \/ 50.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67 \/ 52.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66 \/ 22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35 \/ 72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87 \/ 53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65 \/ 55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86 \/ 22.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33 \/ 74.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85 \/ 55.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64 \/ 57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06 \/ 23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12 \/ 76.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83 \/ 58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62 \/ 60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25 \/ 23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71 \/ 78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82 \/ 60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61 \/ 62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45 \/ 24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe holiday party has reached the stage where everybody thinks their joke is original. 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This cotton tee puts a repeat offender on the back and a festive little warning on the front. Christmas has never looked less trustworthy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTurns out breaking into houses, eating unidentified cookies, and making a list of everybody’s behavior raises a few questions downtown. The elves are calling it a misunderstanding. The mugshot is not helping.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to the holiday party, the tree lot, or Christmas dinner with the relative who thinks naughty-list jokes have gone too far. Santa has legal problems. 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A cotton tee for dark-humor fans with impeccable timing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe reaper is waiting, and your talent for looking innocent has finally found appropriate merchandise. Dark humor works best when you let the graphic speak and keep an absolutely straight face.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it for errands, coffee, or movie night with the people who already know your sense of humor has terrible timing. Your silence is not an admission. The shirt is simply deeply fucking unhelpful evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fit: Loose\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Season: Spring \/ Summer \/ Autumn\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Preppy \/ Sporty\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Material: 100% cotton\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fabric Weight: 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Thickness: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e67.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e27.36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e69.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e28.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e29.33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e74.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e76.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e30.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e78\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e55.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e52.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"White Gray \/ S","offer_id":67605178843450,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#001","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ M","offer_id":67605178876218,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#002","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ L","offer_id":67605178908986,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#003","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67605178941754,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605178974522,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#005","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605179007290,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#006","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67605179040058,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#007","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67605179072826,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#008","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67605179105594,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#009","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67605179138362,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#010","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605179171130,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#011","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605179203898,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#012","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ S","offer_id":67605179236666,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#019","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ M","offer_id":67605179269434,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#020","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ L","offer_id":67605179302202,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#021","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67605179334970,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#022","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605179367738,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#023","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605179400506,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#024","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ S","offer_id":67605179433274,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#013","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ M","offer_id":67605179466042,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#014","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ L","offer_id":67605179498810,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#015","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ XL","offer_id":67605179531578,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#016","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 2XL","offer_id":67605179564346,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#017","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Gray \/ 3XL","offer_id":67605179597114,"sku":"260930PODPQ6996#018","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1021\/1373\/9066\/files\/15403666800954-back1-individual.png?v=1791125009"},{"product_id":"essential-cotton-t-shirt-31","title":"Soggy Beaver BBQ Smoke-and-Bad-Decisions Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe smoker’s fired up, the cooler’s open, and someone has already made the beaver joke. Congratulations—you found the cookout where nobody’s pretending to be classy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe barbecue smells fantastic. The conversation has the maturity level of a middle-school lunch table. At least somebody remembered the napkins and knows when to pull the meat off the smoker.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it to cookouts, supply runs, and the backyard gathering where ‘keep it classy’ was never a realistic fucking plan. Bring something to share. Your excellent restraint can stay home.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e Your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fit: Loose\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Season: Spring \/ Summer \/ Autumn\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Preppy \/ Sporty\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Material: 100% cotton\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fabric Weight: 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Thickness: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x:auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Wine Red \/ 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The Sumbitch Saloon has one rule: bring your own damn patience.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA small red company mark sits on the chest, with the grizzled cowboy and big red SUMBITCH artwork on the back. Wear it to the bar, the cookout, or your next completely unnecessary encounter with people.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order:\u003c\/strong\u003e your piece is created after checkout, so we are not sitting on piles of shit nobody asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fit: Loose\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Neckline: Round Neck \/ O-Neck\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Style: Regular Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Sleeve Length: Short Sleeve\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Season: Spring \/ Summer \/ Autumn\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Style: Basics \/ Casual \/ Preppy \/ Sporty\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Machine wash at 30°C (gentle cycle)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Iron at low temperature, avoid ironing on print\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Material: 100% cotton\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fabric Weight: 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Thickness: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x: auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e26.57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e67.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid 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solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eShoulder\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e18.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.88\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.87\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e55.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.83\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.82\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e19.69\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e20.67\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e52.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e57.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.62\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24.61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e8.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e22.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.06\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e23.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e9.45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"Wine Red \/ 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Wear it to work, errands, or any meeting that should’ve been an email.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA small longhorn company logo sits up front. 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clean\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Material: 100% cotton\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Fabric Weight: 260 gsm (7.7 oz)\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Thickness: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e- Breathability: Moderate\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"overflow-x: auto;\"\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" style=\"padding:8px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd colspan=\"2\" 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